She’s gonna blow!!!!  

2015/01/img_7996-1.jpgSome things you just cannot explain… You never can tell which chocolate is in the box… As a single mother of 2, I embark each day amidst the chaos & last minute “to do’s” 3/4 of which I will forget not because I didn’t write it down but rather because I left the paper I wrote it on at home due to the war that had begun with my children at 7am, some days it’s so bad I lose my car keys bc they forgot something that is a ‘MUST’ ‘ TODAY!!’ Thing 1 is running behind (like every other morning) but Thing 2 is fed up and will get detention for the tardies she gets because Thing 1 is slow, tired, & not wanting to remove himself from his cocoon. I hear the ‘silver tongued devil’ firing her engines as I yell “We gotta go!!!”but actually thinking “SHE is gonna explode!!” This is only 45 minutes of my day, teenagers are tough!! I cannot stress this enough some days. I find myself shocked at the words they speak at times. They frighten me a whole lot too. They are smart & their minds are very quick witted and honestly, more sarcastic than myself, and I find their vernacular much broader than their teachers will ever see, when I don’t think they are going to explode from frustration or anger about each other, they are actually pretty cool kids, talented with music, drawing, painting, writing too. And filled with such love & caring, that I know I did something right bit who was that flipping out this morning? It wasn’t the kid who just gave me a big hug & kiss goodnight 5 minutes ago, who are you? Despite the most wretched divorce, I’ve learned my kids find peace, love, security and hope in me, Mummy, even when I’m frantic because of them. This has the possibility to leave you spinning sometimes. Not the love, but the chaos amidst the love. It’s my world and has the most perfect chaos within it. We are perfectly imperfect, individually and as a family. Dysfunctional that is completely functional. Is that explainable? I don’t know but I really do think it’s accurate. Life is a box of chocolates and I do not know which I will get a bite of: Happy Thing 1 or mad? That goes for Thing 2 as well. I feel like someone ‘set up’ the chocolates to only have ‘mad’ chocolate at times. Just when I could scream, they pull the ole switch-r-oo on me, then I feel guilty for thinking ‘who the hell is this kid? ‘. Such as life, my parents tell me. My mom kindly reminds me that I never exploded as my father giggles in the background.  Laugh it up Pops I’m sending them to you next weekend Daddio!  Then my Momma actually says to me “paybacks are a bitch!”  Ouch, that stung!  



11 thoughts on “She’s gonna blow!!!!  

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