One of those days…

I actually realized it was Friday at about 2:30 pm  today….  I am not quite fairing well with my father so ill.   I haven’t quite known if I was coming or going since Thansgiving.  Christmas with my family was absolutely wonderful, we haven’t been ALL together in so long.  I think we even tolerated my brothers girlfriend kinda well.  Poor girl just has no clue. 

Thanksgiving, birthday, Christmas, birthday, New Years, it came and went so fast.  Here Valentines Day tomorrow and I realized it was Friday as my kids got home from school.  My dad in the hospital over a month now, I haven’t had a normal nights sleep since I don’t know when.  I started a blog, not this one a different one, back in October just so I can sort out and remember all that’s happening.   Since Thanksgiving I haven’t been up to even say “good mornin! Have a fabulous day at school ” to my kids.  I haven’t been able to sleep, the thoughts of what’s going on haunt me, we know these days are coming but waking up to them 50 times a night is just no damn fun.  Getting up at 6 am was never my forte, good lord no, I am simply not good at that, everyone knows it, including myself.  Well, now it’s damn near impossible.  I’m thankful, grateful and pretty damn blessed he takes care of mornings here or my kids would not get to school, ever.  Everyday after school, when I am actually not in a coma like sleep, I gab with them to do the mental check of everyone’s well being and from then til after dinner when they disembark family for homework, from hitting the threshold  after school to homework time,  I do bug the crap out of them.  One cooks with me while one complains he is unable to open a can of ravioli and stands to watch our chaos  Music plays, we act silly and dance like goofballs, even the dogs get into our shinaniggins and everything seems just our kind of normal. 

Who cares if I even know the day, I’m just thankful I have someone to look after me while I am looking after everyone else.  I am grateful and blessed to have this wonderful man bugging me like I bug the hell out of my kids.  Taking me to a hospital daily to deliver food to my momma so she eats, running in and out of a hospital what seems all day long (but it isn’t, it’s just stressful is why it seems this way, we all know it)  checking tires, checking electronic devises, whatever is asked, he does it, no questions.  He knows what is important to our family and he acts accordingly, his opinion is valued, even his advice is listened to, and the tough words a kid needs to say to a sick dad and exhausted momma-. he gets elected because the respect goes both ways around us.  He is completely in charge but not in charge at all.  We have learned very big lessons from our first marriages and are able to share the “in charge”  title quite well.  Does it matter I didn’t know it was Friday really?  No not at all, he knew it was, he knew my list was long once again and pointed me in all the directions I needed to go.  Does it matter to him that I have yet to get Valentines?  No, because I actually already did, he just doesn’t know it yet.  Do I expect a gift?   I can absolutely say no I do not, I get whatever I want when I mention things and I soon forget that I even mentioned it until he surprises me with whatever it is.  I don’t know that I know a more thoughtful man besides my dad ….means someone raised this feller right, perhaps  I should marry him, again and again.  My heart feels love everyday, even if I think it’s Wednesday but actually it’s now almost Saturday.. Happy Valentines Day, now take me to bed or lose me forever… 

http://youtu.be/DKgcThjYBHs  

 

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