Since my daddy has been so sick, my family has pulled ourselves tighter together as we have ever been. We have all worked together here to be as supportive as we can for both my parents, especially my Momma. Us kids could possible worry ourselves silly or even crazy here over our parents.
They kept us at all at bay until they decided it was right and when that time came, it was not me standing with my brother or sister, it couldn’t be they don’t live here, I wasn’t standing with Troy either, he was watching the kids, it was just me and my mom. I shit you not, I about passed out seeing him that first time! I had to wear a mask so neither could see my bottom lip quivering. Only my eyes and they had a i of been as wide as saucers, like a 8 year old scared to death. I stayed all of 5 minutes maybe and I was barely able to not sit right down in the hallway and bawl when I got out of that room. In the elevator I felt sick to my stomach. All the way to the car, I can’t remember if I spoke, I don’t remember. I just wanted that car to drive and drive fast as it could away from there. Yes, I know I’m a baby, I accept that willingly, my parents are my rock, have been and always shall be. These will be tough days, but as the kid who is standing there that day wanting to just crumble, I realize that just is not an option. I can’t let it be.
A few months later, he is finally coming home. He was there 2 months and is coming home extremely weak. I say thank you from the bottom of my heart to Troy, he certainly did not have to go there everyday with me, no one enjoys visiting a damn hospital. The day it seemed everything was going wrong, that it all had fell apart in front of my eyes, he said nothing, he stood and listened as I sat like a child actually on the floor holding my fathers hand. I had no words, neither did he when my father spoke. Now that shit was just the hardest thing I have ever done, or attempted to do in my entire life. At that moment, I had no idea what to do, what to say, all I could muster was “I know, I know Dad”. What did I know? Hell if I knew really. I think Troy could have scooped me up like a baby right then, I had no strengthin my knees to stand. But it did get better, he did get somewhat better and is improving daily. To what extent will he get better, I have no idea at this moment we are rolling with the punches here.
Taking a hard look at it all, well I guess you gotta fall apart completely before you can put it back together. You gotta tweak the bent puzzle pieces into anew reality of sorts, a new picture that resembles the old with some minor changes or major changes, whatever it takes.
That was our job right then, I think, try and make the house fit this situation that sucked. Mom needed hardwood floors to maneuver his wheelchair, Troy laid the floor while I kind of helped him and my mom organize whatever she needed done. He stepped up for me and for my family in preparation for my dad to come home. You have no idea how grateful I am, thank you .
I cannot relay the gratitude that we all have for all those who have helped my family in so many different ways. I don’t know that we could of done this without all the support we have received!
It is a testament to the meaning of true friendship because so many absolutelly caring and loving friends that I have had checking in on my family since this stressful time began, thank you all. Despite the fact I live 1000 miles away from that place called home, so many of my dear friends sent emails, texts and phone calls to check on how he was doing, how I was doing, from the bottom of my heart you just kept me afloat. Troy and my children as well. Alone sometimes we feel weak, but with all this support I did not feel that way. Even when I had moments of feeling complete and udder weakness, there was someone there just saying “hello” ya’al drug me out of that weak place, again thank you so very much, I am eternally grateful and I do feel blessed to have all of you wonderful crazy people to call my friends, to call a part of my family. Crazy you say? Yep, all ya’al are, believe me I know, it takes one to know one!!