You didn’t…..you had one job….

The idea to open and email in your child’s name and send stuff to it periodically until they move out, go to college and give them the password and look back on their life, what a wonderful idea. So I think everyone should keeo a journal of somesort, like a blog or an email diary, something to look back on.

I did just that, sent myself emails about different experiences, both happy and sad, good days or bad, photos and videos….etc        I guess I blogged to everyone and no one read them but my mom maybe, or just me.

So I stumble across this, and I still shake my head in disbelief….Thing#1 is about seven, and Thing #2 is four and I was still married.

Here goes nothing

Each Sunday night, I find my kids fighting against me to go to bed.  They started heading to bed with their dad essentially kicking me out of my own bed, but  I didn’t mind too much though.  At Nine o’clock they headed to bed with him.

One particular Sunday, they were all downstairs in our family room watching tv and I hear over and over, almost frantic,  “MOMMY COME HERE!!!”   So I rush to see whose hurt, whose crying and why exactly they are screaming.

As I hit the last step, I hear them squealing .”SIT DOWN AND WATCH OUR SHOW!!!!”           I then hear my own Momma in my head, and I say “Good God I thought someone was hurt! Promise you won’t do that ever again and I’ll watch!!”  Of course they promised.

We had watched many shows the kids did.         I have always encouraged them to sing, dance and play music, I still do to this day. Mine were the kids that wore Halloween costumes year round for fun. It’s ok to be goofy

Both kids are in their underwear, his SpongeBob and hers Disnay Princesses, my kids had a strong aversion to clothes.  We would walk into the house and they could strip down to their underoos in 10 seconds flat.

So, I’m your neighbor with the kids that are either looking like they are training to be nudists or they are bumping into things because no one can ever really  see out of a Halloween mask.  After all, who doesn’t think a Freddy Kruger mask and knife glove doesn’t look great wearing Snow White or Cinderealla’s dress and plastic high heels? And it’s always a good lesson when your son teaches his younger sister to wear her pajama bottoms on her head like he does and look almost like jesters hats, why not?  That’s a very  valuable  lesson!   Yep, that’s me! I’m that mom.  Best roll out the red carpet when we see the ice cream truck, Alien, Predator, even Micheal Meyers may show up with Belle, Cinderella or Snow White to buy an ice cream

This has nothing to do with this story but I had some die-hard almost cult-like Catholic neighbors.  Nice enough people in very small doses, very small doses .  They were not all together happy with us more than one time, and the reason this time was just an innocent thing,   The ice cream man came once and the kids start bouncing and cheering like kids do when they hear “the muffin man” or “the wheels on the bus” playing getting louder and louder because the truck is getting so close. Now, I know you know what I am talking about! If you have a child. They are like little drug addicts ready to attack and get their fill of the ice cream man and can’t decide which because mommy said only one…the pressure of it all…

 “MOMMY ICE CREAM!! DADDY ICE CREAM”. We all scream for ice cream, right?  Mine sure did.  The moment either of us said “ok, yes, we will get an ice cream”   There she goes, before the sentence is finished, like Secretariat jumping out of the gates in the Kentucky Derby.  Thing#2 is out the front door running, her brother not too far behind, both squeaking with excitement, racing to see who got to him first and I’m fully expecting a hockey check like Bob Probert or Dino Ciccarelli  used to do on The Red Wings…couldn’t decide right then if he would check her or vice versa. Of course my kids didn’t notice our neighbors crossing the street and their Brady Bunch 5 or 6 kids, I forget how many kids there were.  Anyhow they said yes to their kids as well.  I saw them, coming around the truck, I see my kids bouncing like monkeys and yes, of course they had no clothes on, they were in their skivvies and Thing#2 had plastic princess shoes on.  A sight to be seen.

The ice cream truck lady laughed, but the sheer terror of my neighbors faces….  I can only guess  what they were thinking …”Seems the heathens are at it again, more scandalous behavior, they don’t require their kids to wear clothes now.  I thought they ended the children running naked after she potty trained them..”         ….my x husband and I, we just looked at each other, what could we possibly say?  Nothing. whoops-a-daisy forgot our clothes, again. Haha!!    So, the heathen parents took their naked heathen kids inside with their SoongeBob ice cream and won’t be invited to the next block party they have…


So their  Dad introduced  them, as a he starts some cartoon on the DVR.  I am sitting as it began, kids have some sort of hat on and holding something to mimic a cane as they begin their “show”.  It was not exactly like the Rocketts, however, they did do line kicks and knew every word of the theme song.  Do you by chance know the lyrics to the Family Guy theme?  If not….

Lois: It seems today
That all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV

Peter: But where are those good old fashioned values

Entire Family: On which we used to rely?

Lucky there’s a Family Guy

Lucky there’s a man who
Positively can do
All the things that make us

Stewie:: Laugh and cry!

Entire Family: He’s… a… Fam…ily… Guy!

Family Guy Theme with Lyrics

I felt my eyes dart and throw a big ass stink eye in my xhusband’s direction as if saying “alright asshole……”  as I smile at my kids and commend them what a great job they did despite the fact I told him NOT to let them watch that, they are 4 and 7 for Pete’s sake, and maybe not sing that one for nana  and papa please, or the neighbors…..

Let’s just say after that one, I would find them sneaking to watch that show…

Gotta keep an eye on those heathen children, their parents too…..



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