yea, way down in my guts kinda love! 

Desperately hard week and my brain won’t shut off so I’m not sleeping and I’m tired so when I saw this box in my mailbox, I smiled. I gotta box! From who?  My friend who I just call K (not from MIB either) I’m squirt she’s K, has been always and will always be

The stress of this particular week and this particular day, when I read the words my body simply crumbled to the floor in my kitchen, seriously, so overwhelmed. I heard myself crying like a little kid who lost his dog, made me cry more. Karma eating me alive? Maybe. If that’s what this is, I’d watch out, change your ways because when it hits like it hit me all week.  Poor Troy, hearing that kind of cry he was there in all of 2 seconds and I couldn’t even speak. compounded with losing my dad, my god I’m totally crushed with the events the last week.  I won’t explain them here, it will make a few very very angry and most days I’d take it but I don’t need that extra bullshit right now and neither does Troy

This is the most sincere gift I’ve ever gotten, Patty needed a hero today I couldn’t muster my own this week, Troy tried, but he was confused himself about it all.  I think  God tapped K on the shoulder and said “psst….I think you have a fiend calling to you…”

An hour later I saw his initials engraved on the underside.. crumble

I love it, I think it’s beautiful, it’s on my wrist but forgive me I cannot look at it, it’s there though, I feel it. One day I’ll be able to look, it will help my heart mend a bit with what the words say. 

My God I hope so cuz I can’t take much more.  

K knows this feeling all to well, she lost her dad sometime ago also. I thank her Momma Sue for giving us this beautiful gift, wholeheartedly the kindest person I’ve ever known since I was 15, my friend that I truly love and would try to move heaven and earth if I could when she need me, I stand eternally grateful, loved and blessed by her presence in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your letter was just so heart felt. I so miss you, when I wrap my head around this, I’ll call. Know this feller Tim is pointing me in the right direction ‘and making sure I’m okay, that my crumbling isn’t all the time. Karen, my friend, you were my hero today, you and that little box!  

There will be a day I will be able to look and cherish it and she knows that wherever she is right now, it’s just not today though, she knows how much my parents mean to me. Well everyone knows I am a sap with it comes to them, I can’t help it, it’s a good thing !

Reality is that I don’t care one bit to agree I’m a daddy’s girl either.  Someone unkind and spiteful called me that once in an extremely derogatory way.   I think it’s a compliment.  My daddy did In fact rock and had his reasons for what he did for me whether I liked it or not, I do know that in my heart, my momma does as well  Also,  what Nana & papa mean to my children I know that, they have always too, They pretty much co-parented with Troy and I There is not bad in any of that, I turned out pretty good whether they see it or not.  Giving love is one thing but walking around with the feeling of love, through words, actions, reactions and just a very clear sense and ability to feel it, that’s something entirely different than merely giving love.  I am  so cheesy and sappy now, I think i always was and didn’t realize it to the full extent

My God, I do not miss Michigan not one bit, but Its moments like these that I truly miss my life long friends. K, you are the most kindest and compassionate person I know, my Dad said the same thing. I’m not all psychic ability aura lady over here by any means, but it these beautiful qualities in you, well they just ooze from you, being around you truly makes people feel good. 

I believe my dad said once or twice that being around you calmed my 20’s, they had potential for major disaster! I thank you from deep within me, way down in my guts kinda thank you and love! What a way with words, eh? Seriously though, everyone says they feel blessed and grateful for friends around them but honestly, whole heartedly, embarrassing awful voice singing Respect over MANY watered down  $1 long islands, I am more grateful and blessed by having you a part of my life as the life long friend I can catch up where we left off, not missing a beat as if its not been 6 years since Ive seen you kinda best friend!   Thank  you so much, I’ll be up to see you soon, we have a lot of birthday dinners to catch up on! Love you my friend always….

 

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