PSA: MOMS Cool Whip Etiquette 

  
Here’s what I know:
I don’t eat too many sweets so the ONE mini pumpkin pie I buy ONCE a year, I expect to be able to have as much cool-whip as I desire per each bite. If I’d like 3 spoonfuls of cool whip per bite that day than I want 3 spoonfuls per bite that day. Now I totally could care less how you eat it or how much cool whip anyone in this house desires at any given time of the year UNLESS it is time for my ONE mini pumpkin pie. You can use a spoon, your figure, your elbow if you’d like really, I would even buy three containers of said cool whip and write your name on it with a sharpie with your choice of color so it’s YOURS just so you have your own to smash your face in and maybe just eat it with your tongue if you prefer but when you eat your sisters or your brothers (I’m sure we know our own names by this point) if you eat Thing #2’s cool whip or de use to delve into the clearly marked Thing #1’s cool whip, you deal with the repercussions of the possibility of cool whip on your head or down your shirt but you know all this ahead of time.  Yes, you put yourself in danger opening someone else’s cool whip, no one will be crucified but wearing cool whip is definitely a possibility. You have been warned 
Now for that ONE container of cool-whip ONCE a year for my ONE mini pumpkin pie, I’d prefer that you chose to use a spoon, fork or even a knife (a utensil of some sort) in that ONE container that I will use for my ONE mini pumpkin pie ONCE a year. I would really like to enjoy that ONE mini pumpkin pie rather than think of you maybe sticking your big toe in it and then letting the dog lick your foot or the cat lick your elbow or knee. I hold no responsibility whatsoever if you do that do each other’s cool whip, I’m not interested in that war so have at it, however, I am the mom, who deals with requests 365 days a year and I always end up knowing the truth through you snitching on each other or perhaps from the surveillance cameras installed because of our animals who are binge eaters and break into our cabinets and fridge as we sleep each night. Best watch out if they get the freezer open, I suspect maybe try to hide your cool whip from each other and our animals, meanwhile if there is a pumpkin pie USE a utensil in the cool whip!! 

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