I am pissed, I just did this, it’s too soon to do it again.  

I’m pissed that cancer exists

I’m pissed that my dear friends children may not have him to enjoy as they grow up, graduate, fall in love, have their own children 

I’m pissed I live 1000 miles from him 

I’m pissed that I can’t get there to say I love you right now

I am pissed you never got to bring those beautiful babies to the beach like we planned 

I’m pissed that we won’t get to go and stay in the Robinsin Caruso house/hotel at Disney like we wanted with our kids  

I’m pissed that you thought you were a bad dad, you aren’t 

I’m pissed you cannot see everyone around you writing on your hand and see where I said ” imma gonna poke you in the eye if you don’t wake up  feeling better”

I’m pissed you can’t see who is around you showing love from near or far 

I’m pissed people thought you were just too odd for your own good, you are my kind of odd big guy and I love you 

I’m pissed because I am not able to talk to you and laugh at all your perverted sick jokes I love 

I’m pissed Tim didn’t get to know you more 

I’m pissed that I can’t shout at you to get your shit together and kick this shit out of you 

I’m pissed you can’t say “only you Patty” when my dog eats the blue cake mix and it looks like smurfs were murdeted in my kitchen, blue poop bombs piss me off too 

I’m pissed I won’t be able to tell you how my dog ate the whole house while somehow my cat dished it out to him 

I’m pissed we didn’t get to talk about Star Wars again,

I’m just really fricken fracked fucking pissed that I am here right now, this is  so much sooner than you need to go 

I’m pissed I’m praying the pain you have will end soon,  but  I’m pissed that I’m being selfish and don’t want you to go 

Did I mention I am pissed?

I pissed that I could give you and everyone else 200,299 reasons why I am pissed 

I’m just plain ole pissed.                             Hey world,  You haven been warned 

I love you Chris, always have and always will…


One thought on “Apologies, 

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