Shits, giggles and milkshakes 

What I know: Usually a bad sign, “what I know”  that  I wish I didn’t 

Some people create their own storms then are surprised and get upset by the rain

Okay so, I don’t say much but when I do…
Erks me that this is such a negative thought, I’m too positive for this crapola.  It serves no purpose and I’m just plain tired of it because it doesn’t ever change. You can’t change people or make them choose to do right versus wrong. Yea, yea, I know. What i can do is point to the absurdity of the whole situation 

This whole idea of Disneyland Dad erks the shit out of me. It’s wrong on so many ways on many different levels but the level I’ll refer to here is this,

Dropping well over $1400 in one day doesn’t truly mean shit because when a kid or their mother actually could of used money to pay for, let’s say a lawyer, they get a “how dare you even!” response, 

Better yet, they are looking for just simple emotional support during a time of a child’s turmoil,  that you actually play a big ass role in, and just not showing up, even in a flipping phone call because it’s a bother, a bad time, simply not convenient, that shit is more than screwed up. Kids and adults get sick of begging for involvement from anyone and when it does come,  in the form of negativity, cockiness and the vantage point of “all knowing” “about me” who wants to be subjected to that over and over and over…

 If others make an effort only to get a “only talk to me when you want something” attitude, instead of blaming everyone else, why not make the effort your damn self instead of having to be sought after ? Why not answer the first time instead of just ignoring or having the audacity to act as if it’s an inconvenient time when it’s actually an emergency!  

It’s not a date that decidec what to make a phone call showing an interest. “Gonna wait a couple days so he/she doesn’t think I’m desperate or totally into them”

This doesn’t work with family. It definitely doesn’t work for children if any age.  It’s terrible this is something they are accustomed to and expect nothing more  It creates a whole lot of hurt and anger.  Why keep trying when that’s what you get in return??   

Why not be more responsible in the first place? Approaching 50 one would think you’d learn how to do that. Oh but wait, that’s too much work. That would be something that interferes with life as you know it. Well why not remember other parts that you claim to own more often? 
It’s like a slap in the face is what it is and you know, that’s just messed up. Can’t stand up and decide to join in later like that and expect anything else than exactly what is going on when the starting point is so much hurt and anger. That was left unattended way the hell too long.  There are only more piles of hurt and anger layered upon one another to a point where you can’t begin to break it apart once a year.  It becomes the opposite of the “hand sandwich” that represents “all together now….”

This is a massive Jenga game. Layer upon layer,  pain and hurt, pain and hurt, all cemented together and attempting to bash it to smitherines with an ice pick.   Picking at it is just about the worst thing to do.  

No one can help them, least of all me, they are worn and tired of it.  The game isn’t worth another layer.  Not to them anyway. Not that game. Not again 

As a parent who has seen it all, lived it, put the pieces back together, or tried because there are always some critical pieces of foundation missing, trust. I cannot do that.  I am unable to request them to trust when the history, the facts here scream RUN  As a concioejcious parent, how in the hell do I expect something from them when the situation is this sort of ordeal??    Knoeing  all the things that upset them are valid.  I don’t own that.  I was a completely different kind of victim here.  When a child finds damaging characters information  on their own because they are smart, information that is absurdly disgusting,  all it does is  prove and stamp validation that  nothing has changed.  It actually got worse. Not possible to unsee many things, not possible to take actions away.  Pretending they aren’t there is NOT actually possible.  They are there in BOLD PRINT flashing when a face is seen.  

So the facade continues,                                           lack of real communication contributes,   nothing is even remotely fixed, or attempted, not with the pretending all of it didn’t happen going on 

It’s not a game of make believe, it never was.   This is their life 

So the end is near again, what happens next?  Same ole same ole, new damn Jenga level mortared in snug and tight  

A situation  where you are walk away having a sense you’ve been taken for all you’ll give and then some. That’s a true definition of guilt.   Sadness that it means nothing, the presence is more like toleration till it’s over like that one uncle Fred who has no clue who you are each year but he’s feeding you your favorite candy so hell, why not?   For fucks sake, you are not interested in indulging ALL of it?  so why get any of it comfortably? 

No one has the 3 years old’s comprehension here. They were well above that AT age 3. Only being involved when it’s convenient for yourself only proves the value and worth in which you place upon them. Essentially not being around during all the important stuff so many times, not stepping up for it at all, well,  you then are going to feel the value and worth or the lack there of, in return. A big ass piece of humble pie jammed into a two hour visit. A terrible learned behavior. Perhaps deserving in their eyes though because that’s all they get in the first place. “Here’s the money limit now go..” which they will most likely push past that limit, like every kid does. The pure lack of presence + no authority/respect  as a parent will not equal  shits, giggles and milkshakes. That is a recipe for making a Humpfy Dumpty falling off the damn wall, which once again you won’t be present nor willing  to put the time in and effort to attempt to put the pieces back together again. 

This only plays into the whole Disneyland dad mentality. Kids see it all. They use it, whether they should or not isn’t the question here. 

Big things happen, both good and bad, a parent is suppose to be the people you can count on, suppose to be there no matter what, through the very thick and the oh so very thin.

A co-parent, married or divorced, is supposed to be the one you can count on for the good and bad also, all for the sake of the children because they are in fact YOUR children.  It’s never just money.  It’s bad when one party uses money as a reason to hold back visitation however it’s absolutely reprehensible that the other uses it as a reason to just be an asshole by not caring enough to help a child in serious distress, who in gods name leaves a child out to dry like that and then throws the parent who stood up to do anything and everything she can to help  the child out of a situation that could possibly haunt him forever ?   

Demanding respect “just cuz you are the parent” doesn’t cut it. Being daddy warbucks just proves the point of the guilt you feel because you chose this path and then are irritated and even sad you are on sunk in quicksand and there ain’t one rope in sight. 

Like I said, this is not make believe, how can the parent not see that the child saw the door slammed in their other parents face?  That door hit the child harder,  Trust in that.  The aftertaste is still in their mouths. It’s titled “didn’t care enough to….” 

“Some people create their own storms then are surprised and get upset by the rain”

It’s awful I looked up Disneyland dad and found this AFTER I wrote this jumbled mess 

The words in that link 

Why their kids feel cheated sticks out like the sorest thumb of all
MY WORST FEARS  👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻‼️‼️

But I’m bit a coward, I’ll stand with hot glue sifting through the pieces singing Zippity Doo Da

  Why? Because f^%# you that’s why 


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