Tag Archives: Love me do

‘the keeper’

Sometimes when we read someone else’s words they hit you deep down in your guts directly to your soul, these words did exactly that.  They paused me.  They made me remember my job, “the keeper

I had bracelets made for both my kids, I wear my sons, one day I’ll give it to him but for know I am the keeper of the message “ain’t no mountain high, no valley low” the song I played them so much during a very hard time in our lives, the divorce.  We are years passed that now, however, old wounds die hard and long sometimes so it is just a reminder that through it all, good and bad, they could always count on their keeper

It certainly is the little things that we know to keep this lil sailboat  sailing like a Viking battleship ​

One of our silly videos to fully embraced our motto ​

​http://us.vivavideo.tv/v/zX6gd2sq/1/


 

“I am the keeper.


I am the keeper of schedules. Of practices, games, and lessons. Of projects, parties, and dinners. Of appointments and homework assignments. 


I am the keeper of information. Who needs food 5 minutes before a meltdown occurs and who needs space when he gets angry. Whether there are clean clothes, whether bills are paid, and whether we are out of milk. 


I am the keeper of solutions. Of bandaids and sewing kits and snacks in my purse. But also of emotional balms and metaphorical security blankets. 


I am the keeper of preferences. Of likes and dislikes. Of nightly rituals and food aversions. 


I am the keeper of reminders. To be kind, to pick up their trash, to do their dishes, to do their homework, to hold open doors and write thank you notes.


I am the keeper of rituals and memories. Of pumpkin patches and Easter egg hunts. I am the taker of pictures, the collector of special ornaments, and the writer of letters. 


I am the keeper of emotional security. The repository of comfort, the navigator of bad moods, the holder of secrets and the soother of fears. 


I am the keeper of the peace. The mediator of fights, the arbiter of disputes, the facilitator of language, the handler of differing personalities.


I am the keeper of worry. Theirs and my own. 


I am the keeper of the good and the bad, the big and the small, the beautiful and the hard. 


Most of the time, the weight of these things I keep resembles the upper elements on the periodic table – lighter than air, buoying me with a sense of purpose.


But sometimes the weight of the things I keep pulls me down below the surface until I am kicking and struggling to break the surface and gasp for breath.


Because these things I keep are constantly flickering in the back of my brain, waiting to be forgotten. They scatter my thoughts and keep me awake long past my bedtime.


Because all these things I keep are invisible, intangible. They go unnoticed and unacknowledged until they are missed. They are not graded or peer reviewed or ruled on by a court. And sometimes they are taken for granted. 


My husband and my boys are kind and generous and they love me hard. And this is by far the greatest job I have ever had. But sometimes being the Keeper is exhausting. Because you feel like you’re doing it alone. 


So to all of you who are keepers, I see you. 


I know the weight of the things you keep. 


I know the invisible work you do, which doesn’t come with a pay check or sick leave, is what makes the world go round. 


I see you.


And I salute you.”


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Credit: Lucky Orange Pants

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yea, way down in my guts kinda love! 

Desperately hard week and my brain won’t shut off so I’m not sleeping and I’m tired so when I saw this box in my mailbox, I smiled. I gotta box! From who?  My friend who I just call K (not from MIB either) I’m squirt she’s K, has been always and will always be

The stress of this particular week and this particular day, when I read the words my body simply crumbled to the floor in my kitchen, seriously, so overwhelmed. I heard myself crying like a little kid who lost his dog, made me cry more. Karma eating me alive? Maybe. If that’s what this is, I’d watch out, change your ways because when it hits like it hit me all week.  Poor Troy, hearing that kind of cry he was there in all of 2 seconds and I couldn’t even speak. compounded with losing my dad, my god I’m totally crushed with the events the last week.  I won’t explain them here, it will make a few very very angry and most days I’d take it but I don’t need that extra bullshit right now and neither does Troy

This is the most sincere gift I’ve ever gotten, Patty needed a hero today I couldn’t muster my own this week, Troy tried, but he was confused himself about it all.  I think  God tapped K on the shoulder and said “psst….I think you have a fiend calling to you…”

An hour later I saw his initials engraved on the underside.. crumble

I love it, I think it’s beautiful, it’s on my wrist but forgive me I cannot look at it, it’s there though, I feel it. One day I’ll be able to look, it will help my heart mend a bit with what the words say. 

My God I hope so cuz I can’t take much more.  

K knows this feeling all to well, she lost her dad sometime ago also. I thank her Momma Sue for giving us this beautiful gift, wholeheartedly the kindest person I’ve ever known since I was 15, my friend that I truly love and would try to move heaven and earth if I could when she need me, I stand eternally grateful, loved and blessed by her presence in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your letter was just so heart felt. I so miss you, when I wrap my head around this, I’ll call. Know this feller Tim is pointing me in the right direction ‘and making sure I’m okay, that my crumbling isn’t all the time. Karen, my friend, you were my hero today, you and that little box!  

There will be a day I will be able to look and cherish it and she knows that wherever she is right now, it’s just not today though, she knows how much my parents mean to me. Well everyone knows I am a sap with it comes to them, I can’t help it, it’s a good thing !

Reality is that I don’t care one bit to agree I’m a daddy’s girl either.  Someone unkind and spiteful called me that once in an extremely derogatory way.   I think it’s a compliment.  My daddy did In fact rock and had his reasons for what he did for me whether I liked it or not, I do know that in my heart, my momma does as well  Also,  what Nana & papa mean to my children I know that, they have always too, They pretty much co-parented with Troy and I There is not bad in any of that, I turned out pretty good whether they see it or not.  Giving love is one thing but walking around with the feeling of love, through words, actions, reactions and just a very clear sense and ability to feel it, that’s something entirely different than merely giving love.  I am  so cheesy and sappy now, I think i always was and didn’t realize it to the full extent

My God, I do not miss Michigan not one bit, but Its moments like these that I truly miss my life long friends. K, you are the most kindest and compassionate person I know, my Dad said the same thing. I’m not all psychic ability aura lady over here by any means, but it these beautiful qualities in you, well they just ooze from you, being around you truly makes people feel good. 

I believe my dad said once or twice that being around you calmed my 20’s, they had potential for major disaster! I thank you from deep within me, way down in my guts kinda thank you and love! What a way with words, eh? Seriously though, everyone says they feel blessed and grateful for friends around them but honestly, whole heartedly, embarrassing awful voice singing Respect over MANY watered down  $1 long islands, I am more grateful and blessed by having you a part of my life as the life long friend I can catch up where we left off, not missing a beat as if its not been 6 years since Ive seen you kinda best friend!   Thank  you so much, I’ll be up to see you soon, we have a lot of birthday dinners to catch up on! Love you my friend always….

 

Turn out the lights 

No she can’t see the pictures in my phone
**huh?  Why is that?                                                                                                                                  Because….
**20 questions here it seems….
They are my pictures
**Of what?
Of you….
**what?  Me?? When??  ok buddy, now I need to see these pictures myself!!



He let me pester him for a little bit, finally he shows me.  I was scared they’d be the worse photos in the world, what was I doing that I have no idea a photograph was taken.  He never told me about taking any  photos that i didn’t know about….I felt doomed. He had lurked to take a photo while I was in the shower?  Oh dear god no!!  Just imagine where my head went…  I thought they’d be horrid,  they weren’t.  It was very, very sweet as he explained  why this one and why that one. It was kind words backed by love.  He is so thoughtful, he surprises me a whole lot and this was no different.

  

I don’t think he understands that no matter what anyone else  thinks and believe, it’s all good here, and so go on and grab my ass honey, as long as I can have it back every now and again to  tell someone to  “kiss my ass” otherwise it’s yours darlin!

  

I think I will keep snapping photos and you  should too, after all, we have found a nice resting spot here for a bit, until we decide its time to move on.  I see a little of a wanderlust and gypsy soul in you, even if you don’t want to really admit that

Continue to think it, feel it and be damn happy that we did, no regrets,  it’s simply not worth the time any longer to worry about what anyone thinks but us and our family. Life is much too short for that.. Any one who’d question or doubt anything about you or me, they simply do not know anything about either of us or the loving family and extended  family we have.  We have been fortunate enough to have many friends come to our home and stay, they all see it.

One of my favorite women in this entire world  that taught me and many friends exactly  what a strong woman looks  like when we were just 12 or so.   One of my teachers I have  admired and adored for such a long time now but had lost touch with.  Well, her living here down the street, 1000 miles from where I first met her, was quite shocking but so damn wonderful to have her become a large part of our lives.  She has told me so many times, she sees how happy we are .  We ooze happiness and love.  I think that is just the best way to say it too!  Keep on oozing baby, oozing looks good on us, if anyone cannot just see it, they are simply blind or just refuse to look

You know I remember the craziest things sometimes.. …never did forget this one…  .

I guess all i can say is, click away my sweet but be kind as to the                        where and when we display them, deal?  😛