Tag Archives: music

‘the keeper’

Sometimes when we read someone else’s words they hit you deep down in your guts directly to your soul, these words did exactly that.  They paused me.  They made me remember my job, “the keeper

I had bracelets made for both my kids, I wear my sons, one day I’ll give it to him but for know I am the keeper of the message “ain’t no mountain high, no valley low” the song I played them so much during a very hard time in our lives, the divorce.  We are years passed that now, however, old wounds die hard and long sometimes so it is just a reminder that through it all, good and bad, they could always count on their keeper

It certainly is the little things that we know to keep this lil sailboat  sailing like a Viking battleship ​

One of our silly videos to fully embraced our motto ​



“I am the keeper.

I am the keeper of schedules. Of practices, games, and lessons. Of projects, parties, and dinners. Of appointments and homework assignments. 

I am the keeper of information. Who needs food 5 minutes before a meltdown occurs and who needs space when he gets angry. Whether there are clean clothes, whether bills are paid, and whether we are out of milk. 

I am the keeper of solutions. Of bandaids and sewing kits and snacks in my purse. But also of emotional balms and metaphorical security blankets. 

I am the keeper of preferences. Of likes and dislikes. Of nightly rituals and food aversions. 

I am the keeper of reminders. To be kind, to pick up their trash, to do their dishes, to do their homework, to hold open doors and write thank you notes.

I am the keeper of rituals and memories. Of pumpkin patches and Easter egg hunts. I am the taker of pictures, the collector of special ornaments, and the writer of letters. 

I am the keeper of emotional security. The repository of comfort, the navigator of bad moods, the holder of secrets and the soother of fears. 

I am the keeper of the peace. The mediator of fights, the arbiter of disputes, the facilitator of language, the handler of differing personalities.

I am the keeper of worry. Theirs and my own. 

I am the keeper of the good and the bad, the big and the small, the beautiful and the hard. 

Most of the time, the weight of these things I keep resembles the upper elements on the periodic table – lighter than air, buoying me with a sense of purpose.

But sometimes the weight of the things I keep pulls me down below the surface until I am kicking and struggling to break the surface and gasp for breath.

Because these things I keep are constantly flickering in the back of my brain, waiting to be forgotten. They scatter my thoughts and keep me awake long past my bedtime.

Because all these things I keep are invisible, intangible. They go unnoticed and unacknowledged until they are missed. They are not graded or peer reviewed or ruled on by a court. And sometimes they are taken for granted. 

My husband and my boys are kind and generous and they love me hard. And this is by far the greatest job I have ever had. But sometimes being the Keeper is exhausting. Because you feel like you’re doing it alone. 

So to all of you who are keepers, I see you. 

I know the weight of the things you keep. 

I know the invisible work you do, which doesn’t come with a pay check or sick leave, is what makes the world go round. 

I see you.

And I salute you.”

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Credit: Lucky Orange Pants


Besides the fact….part duex

Yes, “part duex” as in a very bad sequel 

Subtitle:  Cutting your nose off despite your face….  I do not enjoy saying “I told you so!” however, ” doggone it, I told you so!!”

I would totally love to scream that loud enough that it would break glasses and could echo all the way to Timbuktu!!

There is not a person alive, my self included. who enjoys being told they are wrong, or were wrong, let alone someone who can prove you are wrong. It doesn’t matter what it’s about either. It is in poor taste to say “I told you so” also.  So I am seriously trying hard not to do that

So anyway, that whole situation with my kid in When the music’s over  and also Besides the fact… many have asked for an update to what, if anything happened with all that as school is about to start here and fall football season has a marching band.

Each year, we all have pretty much begged them To move him from mellophone to percussion.  The first year was a flat out no but last summer he was able to try out, and the teachers were actually surprised and he was moved straight away.  The wound from pretty much ripped open when this instructor refused again to keep him in percussion, and truly in my desperation to keep this kid in band, I was not ever given an answer to the  the reason why by the the instructor since last February.  My disheartened son quit completely.  I had a gut instinct this instructor was going to pull his usual, ” oh no you misunderstood, he’s in percussion, I don’t know why anyone would ever think that”. Because you said so is why and lack of any sort of reason, well that is just rude and insulting really
 So, in a nutshell,

There are always two weeks of marching band practice starting the last week or so.  Unfortunately, my father passed away during the first week this summer,  so my daughter couldn’t attend. A serious event  for any family and thankfull  they didn’t throw a fit over it.

The whole shit and shebang and a whole lot of WTH? came that first day of band camp when the other instructor sent a text asking him to come to band camp.  I called this last March. ” I swear to God on Granny’s grave” And it this point, if it had been addressed in any way the past seven months,  none of us would be here, including the instructors who need percussion players

 Isn’t that just great?? Decided he was worth it because he is actually a great musician? Last year he was wanting to even play in a college matching band because he enjoyed it so much and a few of his friends are in one at USC and are having a lot of fun, and now he hates it….truly hates it because of these asssnine games.

If they had ever said the kid just sucked sob bad that they just didn’t need a kid like that to try to teach all this entails, I probably would of been mad, but would have had this kid maybe go back to taking drum lessons that he did about in 7th grade when he played the french horn they chose for him.  That’s not the case, I have heard nothing but compliments from them about both my children, that’s what kills me here. If he was awful he wouldn’t been asked to come back.  Seems a whole lot of “cutting our joe off despite the face”

My daughter was able to try out early and be in the high school marching band as an 8 th grader, I agreed to let her try out for PIT because her brother was in drumline and I felt comfortable with her there because he would be as an 11th grader

This is strikes me in some bizarre comical way because it is an adult I’m dealing with,  not the conniving 17 year old girl playing the part in “Mean Girls” who changes “the rules” up without telling you to feed the craving for attention,  even negative attention just to get attention.

That being said, it’s actually tragic, not in the sense of catastrophic tragedy like a tsunami, volcanic eruption or a hurricane destruction but tragic in the sense that psychologically speaking here,  not only has my kid been shot down down and let down from success at the hand of his teacher, his mentor here.                It gets even worse, he has also just gotten a sour taste of  reality, and realized the one lesson a parent tries to enstill in their children from a young age:.

if they try their best, give it their all, with hard work, commitment, perseverance, and dedication to the things they just love so much, all of that will pay off and they can succeed in their dreams and aspirations

Just doesn’t seem so true now does it? ,     So, here sits momma trying to convince him that this situation just wasn’t his fault and  that working towards your dreams IS rewarding,  now it is just finding out what that dream is!

One thing in closing, I had to really commend my son for sticking to his guns here.  Despite the fact he absolutely enjoyed being a part of this tight knit group of kids, he was so very appalled at the way he was treated that he said if it happened again, he was “done”.  I wasn’t raised to be a quitter and neither was he, however, we all have made the effort to about this on our end, it was acknowledges and after almost 8 months, I don’t blame this kid one iota!




when the musics over


You know, as a parent I’ve tried to teach  both my children that we should all treat everyone around us with respect, adults which includes their teachers, and even other kids as well.  How disappointing it is when we strive to be respectful of those around us when they do not in any way do the same… 

I’m faced with a situation that I’ve found myself not worthy of even getting a reply to a simple question, I got nothing at all, no text, email or a phone call.  A “kiss my ass lady” would be better than nothing, that would at least be some sort of reply to work with 
When an adult treats other adults this way, makes me really wonder how in the hell this adult treats kids, not just my kid but all kids.  Of course, I could be told I shouldn’t worry about anyone’s kids but my own, maybe. Well, that’s on me because I do care if this sort of thing happens.  Perhaps it’s because I was trained to be a teacher.  If a parent tried to talk with me as the teacher here, I would at the very least make sure that parent didn’t feel like they weren’t worth my precious time and respond to a text, or an email.  It takes all of a minute to say “I’m extremely busy but will get back to you”.  Is that too hard or too unreasonable a request to recognize that you received a text or email?   No it’s not, I would hate to interrupt anyone’s Candy Crush game here but come on now…
I have really decided that you ask others the right kind of questions and lots of truth is told.  I’m not the only one who thinks this is just unacceptable behavior from an adult my children must respect in class and in the hallways at school.  How shitty can a teacher be that would just ignore whatever they want to, take no time or make no time to answer a darn question from a parent and keep getting away with that?  


What kind of lesson am I teaching my kids here?  “You can try your darnedest but to tell you the truth there will always be people who just suck and will treat everyone however they want but you, no, you don’t do that. And if it is a teacher acting like this, suck it up because you nor I can do one damn thing about it.”  This falls into the ‘do what I say not what I do’ category which is pretty hypocritical.  
As parents we help our children to find a passion for something they like to do. We help them to try out new things that they may happen to like, from sports, to academics, to drama, to musical instruments.  When they chose one of the other, a parent may then say “work hard, and it will pay off one day, but you have to commit to this passion, take it serious and try your very best, even on the bad days, you must commit to it with all of you” 

Well, I’ve realized that this just doesn’t always apply, now I’ve got to explain to both my kids that their passion, their absolute love for one particular thing, the one thing my kids happen to have in common, where they have found their passion, doggone it, it ain’t going to happen here.  That their passion for music is just not going to work out within school, the commitment is not going to be recognized  so yes, mom will look for another route for you to embrace this passion even if I have no clue how to even do that at this moment.